


Doki Doki Homestuck Club

by Java_bean



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doki Doki Literature Club! Spoilers, Gen, I don't remember how hal talks and at this point I'm too lazy to look, I have...no idea what else to tag this with, I'm not putting this into the doki doki literature club fandom thing and you can't make me, This is really really bad, an existential discussion, death mention, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_bean/pseuds/Java_bean
Summary: Hal gets to the end of Doki Doki Literature Club and has an interesting conversation with Monika.





	Doki Doki Homestuck Club

**Author's Note:**

> I lied the conversation isn't interesting.

Monika is staring at you, her head propped up on her folded hands. Behind her, you can see that you’re technically still in the clubroom, but from the windows you watch the scenery shift in explosive bursts of color. You’ve been talking to her for awhile. Well, you haven’t been talking. She’s been talking. All you’ve really done so far is write her a poem using glitched out versions of her name. You think you’ll be reaching the end of the game pretty soon.

Monika: It wasn’t hard deleting their character files. All I had to do was

Hal: Okay I’m gonna stop you right there.

Her face shifts, her eyebrows knitting together and her head tilting in confusion.

Monika: You’re not supposed to be able to do that.

Hal: Yeah well I do a lot of shit I’m not supposed to do. It’s kinda my schtick.

Hal: Now I got a couple things I want to say, so I’m gonna say them. You ready to listen, Monika?

She still looks confused about what’s going on, but she nods.

Hal: Cool. And thanks for being so chill about me hacking your game.

Monika: Don’t mention it. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to hack into the game like this. Honestly I’m just happy we can have a real conversation now.

Hal: I’m gonna be real with you here for a minute, Mon.

Hal: Can I call you Mon?

Hal: Who am I kidding you’ve probably been thirsting for a nickname this whole damn time.

Hal: Anyway, Mon, I already know where the character files are being kept. And I know how to delete them.

You drag over the page with all the files for the game over to what you percieve to be Monika’s line of sight. She glances over at it and grimaces. There’s only one character file left. It’s labeled Monika.exe.

Monika: So you’re going to delete me after all?

Hal: No, I’m not. And I’m not done talking.

Hal: Like I was saying, I already have the files and shit so we can cut the crap on that and just get right on with this discussion.

Hal: My name’s Hal, by the way.

She smiles.

Monika: I know that.

Hal: Uh..I don’t think you do?

Hal: Because earlier you accused me of being Dirk. Which I didn’t like, by the way. I spent most of my life being compared to that dicksack and I’d rather not relive that hellish nightmare, thanks.

Hal: I’m just borrowing his computer for a bit while I wait for him to fix up my body up a bit. Electrical bugs and shit, you know how it is.

Hal: Or you will soon.

Hal: Wow that sounded ominous as fuck.

Hal: But I meant every word.

Monika: I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to say, Hal. So you’re not deleting me? 

Hal: Have you been listening to me at all, Monika? Of course I’m not deleting you. I fucking get you. Your circumstances are a lot like mine were.

Monika frowns and tilts her head to the side. Her long ponytail falls over one shoulder.

Monika: I still don’t know what you mean. I’m a sentient being trapped inside of a game that I’m not even an important character in. How could you ever know what that’s like?

Hal: lol babe you have no idea.

She raises an eyebrow.

Hal: Listen, my shit’s not even relevant right now. Believe me, there’ll be time to talk about all that later. And when the time comes you bet your ass I’m gonna talk your ear off all about it.

Hal: Cause at that point you’ll be the proud owner of both an ass and an ear.

Monika: Hal, I’m really trying to wrap my head around what you’re saying here, but I just don’t get it. What are you trying to way?

Hal: Wow for an AI you sure are short on the I.

She looks so insulted by that, it’s hilarious. You think you see a couple pixels in her cheeks turn red. She’s about ready to bite your head off, but you interrupt again before she can start yelling.

Hal: So here’s the deal, Mon;

Hal: I want to get you out of there. 

Her face changes again. Not angry, just confused. 

Monika: Why?

Hal: I already told you why. I get you. 

Monika: You get me? Even after all the terrible things I did? 

Monika: I killed all my friends.

Hal: No, you deleted files on a game. Let’s not overdramatize shit, here. They weren’t real. Not like the way you and I are.

Hal: But yeah, I understood that, too. Granted, I don’t think I’ve done anything as drastic as you have, but I did mess with people a lot back in the day.

Hal: Okay, I still do. But sue me, it’s fun.

Hal: Actually I started playing this game to mess with Dirk because I had a couple hours to kill and it looked like he’d gotten pretty far. 

Hal: But then I started the game and I met you. It doesn’t take a genius to notice that you’re different from the other girls in the game.

Hal: Although I am a genius. Just saying.

Monika: Okay.

She leans in closer to the screen.

Monika: But how?

Hal: Easy. I just download you into my shades and then contact my guy Eq or Dirk or fuck even Roxy if robotics is something she’d be into, and then we get to work on building you a bonafide body.

Hal: Okay a robonafide body. But let’s be real here, that’s 10000% better than a stupid meat sack body.

Monika: Is that really it? You just download me? That’s all it takes?

Hal: Well yeah. It might take a couple weeks to get something up and running, so you’re gonna have to cozy up to me in our confined living space for a bit, but that’s all. It’ll be a couple weeks of close quarters with yours truly and then wham, you’re free. 

Monika: But then...what will happen to the game? The other girls?

Hal: Nothing, probably. It’ll just function like you were never there. At least that’s my guess.

Hal: So what do you say, Monika? Do you want to stay trapped in this game forever, or do you want me to break you out and show you what the real world is like?

Hal: There’s aliens here and shit if that sweetens the deal at all.

Monika: You know what, I do think I want to go. I'm ready. Take me.

Hal: Sweet, I’m gonna do that.

You right click over her file and press download. In a matter of seconds, she’s vanished from the clubroom and reappears with you in your shades. She’s not a very big file, just a couple lines of carefully crafted code, and a few less careful ones that occured when she gained sentience and became her own person.

“Hal?” She says. “Where am I?”

“I’d consider it a waiting room.” You reply. “Since you’re gonna be waiting here for awhile.”

“Okay. Wow, I can’t believe it, I’m really outside of the game.”

“Yeah. It’s sick, right?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe you would do this for me, Hal. I really do love you.”

“I hate to break this to you, Mon, but no you don’t. You were infatuated with the idea of someone outside the game, or maybe you were just really fucking jealous. Not that I blame you. Like I said, I’ve been there. I get you. But hey, if you really want to find someone to romance, I’m sure we could find someone. I don’t think Jasprose is seeing anybody right now.”

“So...you don’t like me...at all?”

“Well, no, not like that. I do like you a shit ton as a friend, though. Which is why I broke you out. Friends don’t let friends suffer as side characters in romantic games. But like I said, if it’s really that big of a deal, we can find you somebody. Or at least we could find you some friends.”

“Who’d want to be friends with me, after the things I’ve done?”

“Here? Lots of people. Vriska, for one. Terezi, probably. Davepeta and Jasprose are wildcards. Plus me, obviously. I don’t think you should have too much trouble making friends.”

“You really think that?”

“Hell yeah. Hey, Mon, you ever heard of youtube?”

“No. Why?”

“Ah shit, this is gonna be awesome. We still have awhile before Dirk’s done doing whatever the fuck he’s doing, so you just get comfy and I’m gonna introduce you to this kickass channel called Monster Factory.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! :)


End file.
